Make It Up To Me

I won't lie, I really, really love make up sex. I'm not one of those girls who will pick fights just for the make up sex (yes there are people out there who do that, and they are absolutely bat shit), but there's always a silver lining to an argument with a partner because there will, nine times out of ten, be amazing make up sex. Unless it's a really bad argument and things end and then you have break up sex, but that is an ENTIRELY different subject. Point is, I'm currently enjoying the benefits of make up sex. I feel like I have to preface this post with some details, though,

Ladies and gents, boys and girls, I have a boyfriend. Is that weird to say? That's so weird. Blehhh feelings and stuff. Remember an earlier post about sleeping with one of my coworkers named James and I was all "I can have sex without feelings, this is just casual, I am a heartless creature!" Well.

Not really. I wasn't expecting it to happen. But he's amazing. And we just got really close really fast and it was so far out of our control until one day we were laying in bed and he just goes "So this isn't only sex anymore, is it?" And I was all like oh shit. Except not really because you make me really happy? Blehhh feelings. But I'm crazy about him. And honestly the only reason I didn't let you guys know sooner is because we have to keep it a secret at work so it felt weird talking about it on here, but now people are starting to find out so I figured I might as well share. So. James and I got into our first blowout fight last night. I'm not big on fighting with partners-- if I'm pissed at you I'll make it known and we'll have a nice, adult conversation about it, but I'm not going to yell and stomp my feet because I am a grown ass woman and I can use my big girls words. But last night got a little out of hand. At one point I told him "Get out. Just get out of my house right now. I can't even look at you right now." Which is entirely melodramatic and welcome to the world of two artists dating. But we fought. Bad. He eventually left and I laid in bed with my roommate for an hour and cried and went through a box of tissues and half a box of chocolate custard eclairs.

But guess what? Fighting is healthy. Not all the time. But sometimes it's okay to snap and vent and lose your temper because guess what? We're all human. We're all flawed. I fucked up last night-- so did he. I hurt him last night-- he hurt me too. It's a two way street. We're both to blame here. I'm not spiteful for prideful enough to sit on my soapbox and put it all on him. We both did it. So naturally, we were both craving make up sex today. I do this really cool thing with everyone in my life that I get upset with-- partners, lovers, family, friends, coworkers, etc-- where I take a deep breath, refocus, and write them a letter or an email. Which I know sounds so silly and cliché, but it really helps sort my thoughts, and it also allows me to get everything out without forgetting something important or getting sidetracked with the conversation. He did the same thing, which I really appreciated, and we did have a conversation about it in person, but I don't think the conversation would have gone as smoothly unless we had written each other those emails. Point is, after the conversation, he kissed me, and then I kissed him back, and before I knew it my clothes were on the floor and his face was buried between my legs. Like so:

And. It. Was. Glorious. Seriously. There's something really primal and ravenous about make up sex. It's not about "Sorry I fucked up so let me go down on you as penance" but rather "being mad at you for the past twenty four hours has made me miss you and I can't get enough of you right now." Some people like to make love after an argument. While that has its perks (ie: feeling emotionally intimate with your partner after that disconnect), I find that the hungry insatiability that comes with really good make up sex is incomparable. And maybe that's just me. But James and I enjoyed the hell out of our make up sex. And round two was slow and sweet, in order to find that connectivity, but the first time around was definitely a rip my shirt open type of romp, and holy fuck was it exactly what we needed.

Say what you will about make up sex-- it does the trick. And guess what? James and I are even closer now than we were last night, and while dealing with the things that came up in the argument definitely have a lot to do with it, the make up sex did not hurt one bit.

xx,

Gemma