Through the Backdoor
I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING A BAD BLOGGER MY VIRTUAL LIFE IS BEING CONSUMED BY MY REAL LIFE GRAD SCHOOL IS KILLING ME NEVER PURSUE A DEGREE IN HIGHER EDUCATION THAT IS THE ONLY PIECE OF PROFESSIONAL WISDOM I CAN IMPART TO YOU ALL I PROMISE I WILL NEVER GO THAT LONG WITHOUT POSTING EVER AGAIN. I LOVE YOU ALL. That's it :)
Most people feel very passionately about anal sex. They either love it and engage in it as much as vaginal sex (if not more), or they find it utterly repulsive and stay far, far away from it. I’m one of the few people who is on the fence about it. I don’t love it. I don’t hate it. I wouldn’t do it every day, but I wouldn’t rule it out completely. Since I’ve had great experiences with it and horrible experiences with it, I guess I just haven’t made up my mind on how I feel about it. The main problem I personally face with anal is that the ideal position is doggy style and I don't know about anyone else but I have really flexible wrists so I end up leaning too far forward and then he's basically just on top of me and it gets real sweaty and real uncomfortable real quick. However. If you really like doggy style, this might be something pursuing. And if your partner is an ass man, that definitely gives him the best visual. Note: I am definitely way more enodowed up top than I am down there, and yet every single one of my boyfriends have been ass men. Go freaking figure.
I dated a guy who absolutely loved anal. I think we did it more than anything else because it just really turned him on. Disclaimer: he was addicted to pornography and that’s where his obsession came from. I’ve never met anyone who loves it as much as he does. But because he was so into it, he did his research and knew exactly how to do it so that I would enjoy myself too. Some women claim that they can have anal orgasms. These women fall into the same category as the I-love-giving-blowjobs women. They’re just trying to impress guys and I hate these women almost as much as I hate women who say that their favourite snacks are strained yogurt and kale chips. Lies. It’s medically impossible to orgasm from anal sex. Okay, there have been some documented cases, but it is rare. However, it is possible for it to feel good. What this guy and I got into was going really, really, really (and I mean really) slow. To the point where it would take us a good forty five minutes for him to be all the way inside me. And lube. Lots of lube. And trust. And don’t eat Taco Bell within the previous 48 hours. But once we got into a rhythm, he would reach around and manually stimulate my clitoris, and I had some of my most amazing, gut wrenching, toe curling orgasms during anal sex. The sensation of him thrusting inside me also caused my vaginal walls to contract from the pressure, and it kind of felt like doing a mini series of Kegels. Fun stuff.
That being said, the most important thing is that it isn't just about him. There are countless other things you guys can do that are all about him (blowjobs, titty fucking, etc.), so if he wants it to be all about him, don't agree to have anal just because he wants it. I can guarantee that us ladies can benefit from it just as much (if not more sometimes! Hello, multiple orgasms!) as men, but he has to work with your body. Let's all agree on the fact that the vast majority of women orgasm from clitoral stimulation. So as long as he's giving that part of your body some nice TLC, we're good to go.
On the flipside, I’ve had bad anal sex. Another guy I dated wanted to try it (he said he never had, and I’m not sure if I believed him), and since I hadn’t done it since my porno addict and I had broken up, I said sure! Why not? Well it was after a tailgate and we were both pretty drunk and we were on his living room sofa and we didn’t have any lube and I was facedown so I couldn’t really control what was going on and he went too fast and it definitely felt like something tore and I was crying and then he freaked out because there was blood everywhere and he had to carry me to the bathtub and spoon feed me ice cream for the rest of the day. Not fun stuff.
My life philosophy is don’t knock something until you try it. I feel like I need some more experience with it before I decide if I really like it or not, but for those of you still on the fence about it, I’d say try it. Gather information, have a serious conversation with your partner about it, and go for it. Or if you’ve never thought about it or would never want to try it, don’t. If you’re not even remotely interested, it isn’t worth it. But then again, never say never.
xx,
Gemma
