RAWR

There is nothing more unattractive than a jealous person. I'm not trying to sound condescending. I get jealous all the time. Not only is it human nature, but because I'm in the arts I'm used to working in a very competitive industry where being jealous is actually good fuel for pushing myself further. So when I get jealous I justify it as "natural," but when other people get jealous I like to think that it makes them ugly. Which I realize is beyond hypocritical of me and I can't have a double standard, but hey, admitting to having a problem is the first step right? But in light of my recent weekend escapade, I've had to deal with jealousy on both ends of the spectrum.

Women getting jealous of other women is normal. I'm jealous of my roommate's awesome, awesome wardrobe and the fact that she can wear open back dresses without having to figure out some tricksy masking tape bra contraption (yes, I've done that. No, it didn't work out well for me.). I'm jealous of my sister's apartment and her really awesome puppy. I'm jealous of Gal Gadot for getting to play Wonder Woman opposite Henry Cavill (I. Would. Pee. Myself. If. I. Could. Even. Be. In. The. Same. Room. As. Him.). And yes, sometimes I'm jealous of a girl because of the guy she's with, and because of that, I lash out, talk shit about her, and make her feel uncomfortable on purpose. I'll admit it. I've done this. And it sucks. There was a girl this past weekend who saw me with this guy and she knew him, and apparently knew me as well, because she decided to make snarky comments all night, and now the gossip has travelled to another country simply because she was jealous. She might never admit she was jealous. She might play it off as being protective of her friend, or come up with some other cock and bull story about how she's just concerned. But ultimately, she's jealous. And that's okay. What's not okay is turning into the evil spawn of the Wicked Witch of the West because of it. Like really, what do you care? We're all just here to have a good time. I clearly upset you enough to the point where you just sat in a corner and stared at me and whispered. And I apologize for any inconvenience, but get the fuck over it. Seriously. Move on.

On the other end of the spectrum we have the jealous men. I ran into an old acquaintance this weekend as well. I used to sleep with him eons ago, and I honestly never thought I'd run into him. We hugged and the first words out of his mouth were "Are you here with your boyfriend?" I simply said yes because it's easier to explain that no, he's not my boyfriend, but we're together ish for the weekend because this has been in the making for about seven years now, ya savvy? So I say yes, and the next words out of his mouth were "That's chill. Do you cheat?" Just like that. Blunt. Plain and simple. And while I'll address the cheating issue in another post later this week, I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that he got mad because I said no. Again, jealousy at the fact that I would be going home with another man and not him, simply because he's used to getting his way. See, what I learned this weekend (which I supposed I've always known, but this really solidified it for me), is that jealousy stems from arrogance, and arrogance stems from a deep rooted insecurity. It's something that has to be fixed from the outside in. We're all here to have fun. Let's stop beating each other down just to make ourselves feel better. And maybe, just maybe, the world wouldn't be so messed up.

xx,

Gemma