We Might As Well Live in Alaska

I never knew what the term "eskimo sisters" meant until my freshman year of college. Where I grew up, that just wasn't done, at least not in my friend group. Hooking up with a friend's ex-anything was just wrong, no matter if it was an ex boyfriend or an ex one night stand. I don't know why. I suppose it had a lot to do with the fact that my friends and I all had very different tastes in men, and there would never be an overlap. I vaguely remember once expressing an interest in a guy and my friends telling me he was off limits because one of our other friends had slept with him a while back. I wasn't upset or fazed in the slightest. That meant that he was off limits, and there was nothing to be done about it. I moved on. And then I got to college.

My roommate had to explain this term to me. She had secretly been seeing a guy (who, unbeknownst to me, was a good friend of mine). Let's call him Jack. One day out of the blue she called it off with Jack, saying she just wasn't that interested anyone. That night Jack came over and we watched a movie and ended up hooking up. I didn't sleep with him, but I damn near well did. My roommate came home later and when I told her she burst out laughing.

"What is so funny?"

"Nothing! Well... That's my Jack."

"What?"

"That's the Jack I'd been seeing."

"No it's not. That's MY Jack."

"Nope. I mean yes, he is, but I'd been seeing him."

"Why didn't you tell me?! Oh my god, I am so sorry. I had no idea."

"Don't worry, Gemma. It's chill. Hey, now we're eskimo sisters!"

"Erm. What?"

She then proceeded to explain the concept. What I understand it to be is when two people hook up with the same person. It doesn't really matter if you're aware of it before you go in (or he goes in, see what I did there?) or how far things go. Some people only consider themselves eskimo sisters if they've both had sex with the same person, but honestly I count it as anything where saliva is exchanged. Which might be a little extreme, but hey, if we're all swapping germs I might as well add it to the list, right? So my college roommate became my first eskimo sister (as far as I know). And I've had plenty more down the line, which are divided into two categories: the ones I like, and the ones I don't like.

One of my best friends and I are die hard eskimo sisters. We have pretty similar tastes in men (read: tall, handsome, athletic, missing some brain cells). At Notre Dame, the athlete community is rampant, and I'd say about 60% of them are viable (attractive) options for sexual partners. So my friend (let's call her Diane) and I have shared a lot of the same guys. It's actually what started our friendship, oddly enough. We had always been acquaintances-- we'd run into each other at bars and gossip for a few minutes, snap a few Instagram shots, buy a round of shots, and part ways. One day, I went home with a guy. We had a great time, blah blah blah, and we started sleeping together. I mentioned it one day to a friend and she goes "Oh. You do know Diane used to sleep with him, right?" I immediately felt guilty, namely because my last experience with eskimo sisters was so odd, so I nervously called her up. I told her who I'd been sleeping with and she immediately burst out laughing. "He's good, right?" I was relieved. She was so chill about it. Note: not everyone is as chill as Diane. I lucked out. But in an odd way it brought our friendship closer together. Somehow, sharing a penis created an inexplicable bond between us. We now share suggestions and recommendations. She's suggested guys for me to hook up with so we could talk about how big they are, and I've steered her away from some potential one night stands because they're not good at oral. It's an odd friendship that a lot of people don't understand, but it works for us. Don't think our relationships is solely based on the men with sleep with-- it's just an added perk of having the same tastes as your bestie.

The flip side of this scenario is for all the mean girls out there I don't like. I hate being out with a guy and some girl keeps eyeballing us. Turns out he slept with her. I really don't care, and if she's staring for so long she might as well join us and we'll make it a party, but when it becomes uncomfortable for everyone involved, it's not worth it. I've turned down guys because I don't want the drama that comes with the potential eskimo sisters. Then again, it's part of the territory of the land known as Sexual Activity.

xx,

Gemma