My Personal Space

I hate cuddling. There. I said it. And I know as a girl I'm supposed to love the feeling of curling up with someone and falling asleep in their arms, but I really truly loathe it. It's hard for people to understand that. "We just had sex. There's nothing more intimate than that. Why can't we just lay in bed together?" We can! I just don't want you touching me. Here's the thing-- you're right. We just had sex. Chances are, we're both a little sweaty and a little breathless. I need a minute to catch my breath and regroup. Being pressed into your chest while you smother me with one arm is not the ideal way for that to happen. It is my personal space. It's one thing to invade it while we're having sex, it's another thing for you to invade it while I'm trying to find the optimum sleeping position. I'm a very particular creature. It takes me a good five or ten minutes to find the right way I want to sleep. If you're trying to rearrange me and move me around, I'm going to get cranky, I'm going to snap at you, and no one is going to have a good night. Am I a little spoiled when it comes to this? Sure. But I've perfected the art of getting a good night's sleep. Don't get me wrong. I like having another person in bed with me. There's something comforting about another person's breath pattern and how the room feels a little tingly from the extra body heat. I love all of those things. I love sleepovers. I don't love someone messing with my sleep.

There's this guy that I've been sleeping with on and off since Thanksgiving. We don't live in the same city, which is really a blessing in disguise because I wouldn't want to date him, but whenever I'm in his town or he's in my town we meet up, grab dinner or drinks, and go home with each other. It's a great set up. I get all the perks without having to deal with any of the emotional fallout of being in a relationship. But he is the absolute worst when it comes to cuddling. He's all about the spooning. And the wrapping his arms around me. And the burying his face in my neck. And then interlocking our legs. All of it. He's gorgeous. I'm so ridiculously attracted to him and we vibe really well and our sexually chemistry is off the charts. But I can't. Take. The cuddling. I can't. I've tried! I just get squirmy and antsy and he gets frustrated and we end up sleeping on opposite sides of the bed, which is ideal for me, but he gets pouty about it and he's always in a bad mood the next morning. We talked about it over brunch one day.

"I don't like it when you try cuddling with me after sex."

"I love cuddling."

"I know. I can tell. It's just not my thing."

"It makes me feel like you don't want to be close to me."

"I just let you put your penis inside of me. Don't tell me I don't want to be close to you."

"Fine. I'm getting the lox."

"Fine."

I wish I could explain it better. There's nothing wrong with him or us. It's just my personal taste. We've now figured out that if we lay side by side and I'm face up and he's face down I'm okay with him draping his arm across my stomach. But that's about all I can take. It's not an entirely happy compromise but hey, give and take right?

xx,

Gemma